Fighting with Birds

Monday morning, about seven in the morning. I left the house in a hurry to make it to work on time but I had time for the normal morning check list:

Snooze the alarm three times after when I needed to get up - Check

Wake up in a frenzy - Check

Realize I have no time for breakfast let alone a shower - Check

Get dressed in the dark - Check

Brush teeth and leave little white triangles in the corner of my mouth - Check

Leave my hair in such a way as to inspire fear in others - Check

And I was ready for my morning.

So I was walking down the street hurrying for the bus and of course it's packed. Which is just how I like it.

I squeeze myself onto the bus making sure to keep my elbows up just incase some people were confused if I was trying to get on the bus or if I was just stopping by to say hello.

So with that the sweatiest bus ride I've ever taken began. It was magical. There was someone in the back listening to what one might list as "rap" music. I imagined that the person was an up and comer in the industry and was trying to catch the attention of a young producer starved for new talent. (As far as I know no contracts were signed during the trip)

There was someone next to me who smelled like a beautiful spring day awash with flowers and sweet sweet garbage. My nostrils filled with the odor and it brought me back to my days working with the local prison crew cleaning up the hills surrounding the industrial waste plant in my home town. I wasn't in prison mind you I just went for the companionship and to relish in my own freedom. It helped to put things into perspective and didn't hurt my street cred.

At the next stop more like minded people piled in. Our bodies pressed together like sardines in a jar of freshly pressed olive oil. I found myself very close, almost awkwardly close, to a woman on the bus. I could sense the tension so I leaned gently in and whispered in her ear "you smell nice". I whispered of course to avoid any other passengers getting confused and thinking I was speaking to them.

Feeling rather intoxicated by the stench sweat, garbage, and head and shoulders for women I took the time to serenade the bus. My one man a cappella version of "Face Down Ass Up" stunned the bus into an awed silence. As I was being thrown off the bus (only a few blocks away from my stop, phew!) I caught a glimpse of the woman with the nice smelling hair, she was crying, one can only assume from sheer happiness.

And so my day began. I couldn't have felt more connected to the human race and I was in giddy anticipation for my train ride downtown.